June 23rd - Sad and Shellshocked...

I think it is fair to say that the last few days have been emotional and heartbreaking.  In the space of a few hours Chivers went from full of beans to organ failure and even though we managed to get him to the vets he passed away having ingested something toxic.

We will never know what that was although the vet could tell us that is was not rat poison but anything from a lily to antifreeze can be fatal to cats and in our searches we have come across household products in our own home which contain chemicals such as Permethrin which are very dangerous to cats.

With so many cats on our estate we had hoped to find out what is was so we could prevent a tragedy like this happening to them.  We have been unsuccessful and in order to move on we have to stop questioning ourselves and beating ourselves up.

It is difficult not to put out 4 cat bowls or to catch a glimpse of Minnie and think, for a split second, that it is him coming home but it is not.  Words cannot begin to explain just how much we will miss him.

Our biggest nightmare has always been that something would happen to one of the cats and we wouldn't find them and never know what had happened to them and keep searching and searching.  We do not have to search for Chivers any more, he is laid to rest in our peace corner - we will always know where he is and he will always be with us, wrapped in a pair of John's bedshorts which Chivers loved to snuggle up in.

I dedicate this post to him.  Gone but never ever forgotten.