The Best Laid Plans...

D-Day has arrived and Queen Vix arrives today at 8.00pm Paphos Airport whilst her husband Trev arrives at Larnaca Airport at much the same time - strange granted - but Trev is working in Nicosia this coming week at the Hilton Hotel.

The omens were good for today because when we woke it was a beautiful day with glorious sunshine and very little cloud.  Vix is never going to believe us when we say how horrible the weather has been this winter!!  Just some final tarting up was required today but we were drawing the line at painting the stones white - there are just too many of them but in John's RN days no Royal visit would be complete without that exercise being done - apparently the Queen thinks all stones are white!!

As the temperatures in the UK languish around freezing and we are being sent photographs of snowy landscapes at 11.16am we were experiencing 24.3 degrees!!  These kinds of temperatures can lull you into a false sense of security because at night they plummet down to single figures so John is still stoking the fire at night (now now Missus).  Droushia's answer to Eminem was out with his chainsaw this morning ensuring there was sufficient log-age for this week.

Having ensured that the accommodation passed muster the next job was to make sure that John didn't look too shabby either!  Al fresco head shave was the order of the day - I did persuade him not to go for a number 1 all over as it can give him a slightly thuggish appearance!

Eventually we were satisfied that there was nothing else we could do except wait until it was time for me to go down to Paphos.  John was going to stay at home and get the fire lit and have the supper waiting for when we got back from the airport.

Chivers has completely gotten over his operation and his mission in life yesterday was to try and catch one of the many magpies that taunt him from the field.  He made a manful (or should we say tomcatful) attempt but they still could be heard laughing at him as they remained just out of his paw's reach.

Reader's of a nervous disposition should look away now but on the subject of Chivers we are fascinated by the result of his operation...

You know how people find the face of the crying Madonna in some random place like say, a potato?  Well we can see Edvard Munch's Scream everytime we get a view of Chivers' nether regions!!

We have no idea how this is going to heal up or if it ever will but it isn't everyday you get to see an old master grinning at you from your cat's backside!!!

We are glad to say that it hasn't spoiled his overall appearance and he is still a beautiful boy, old master arse and chubby cheeks the lot.  Plus he speaks five languages and is probably going to be a brain-surgeon!

Anyway the time came for me to leave to go down to Paphos.  I left John teaching Minnie-Mou how to play on-line Poker - Chivers was singularly unimpressed and had gone 'all-in' at the earliest opportunity with a seven two unsuited.  I bade them farewell and motored on down to Mum and Dad's to have a spot of tea and a game with Mum before leaving for the Airport.  I am pleased to report that Mum and Dad are both looking and sounding very much better.  Dad had even been out shopping today and both think that they will feel up to coming to Limassol with us on Tuesday.

Anyway the flight was scheduled to come in approximately 12 minutes late which wasn't too bad at all and I tootled off singing along to the 80s Reprise CD that Tommy Allan had done for me ages ago and felt excited about Vix's arrival.   I got to the airport at about 7.50pm and parked up and made my way to arrivals - it looked like the flight was the last one coming in so there wasn't likely to be the usual scrummage at the baggage collection so once the flight landed it was only about 15 minutes before Vix appeared through the doors.  All good!!

And that is where the ALL GOOD ended - we walked to the car and I pressed the blip to open the doors and - NOTHING - key in the lock and NOTHING - frantic to-ing and fro-ing of the key in the lock and NOTHING.  I couldn't believe it.  I rang John who offered "have you tried the blip?" - YES I have tried the blip - "have you tried the key" - YES I have tried the key - "what do you mean you can't open the door?"  to which I replied "I can't open the bloody door with the blip or the sodding key"

Well to cut a very very very very long story short we eventually managed to open the drivers door but no other and the car wouldn't start and the jump leads were in the boot and I couldn't get the tonneau cover off to reach them and it was late and it was a bloody awful start to Vix's holiday.  Mum's neighbour Ray came with his car but we couldn't get the car started from his battery.  I then had to resort to ringing the rescue line that comes with our insurance and they said that they would send a pick-up and get us back to Droushia and they said it would be about 40 minutes.  DEEP JOY.

As we were walking away with the bonnet open we were 'adopted' by a taxi driver from Inea who kept us company for the two plus hours that we waited and waited and waited for the pick-up to arrive.  Leonides got us into the airport at a time when there were no flight due so that we could wait in the warm, told us where the toilets were and went off in search of coffee and talked us into submission - we know EVERYTHING about him!!!  He offered to drive us back to Droushia (Inea is the next village) and told us not to worry as his wife as asleep in the Taxi so we were not to worry.

Finally the pick-up arrived and the car was started courtesy of a heavy duty battery and a lot of revving.  Leonides made sure that everything was ok and even helped me to pay for the excess parking charge so I could release the car and finally we were on our way.  We arrived home safe and sound if not a little later than anticipated.  Once the first drink went down the whole traumatic experience was forgotten.  The last five months melted away and it was as if we had seen each other yesterday.